On Children and Death: How Children and Their Parents Can and Do Cope With Death

Product Description
On Children and Death is a major addition to the classic works of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, whose
On Death and Dying and
Living with Death and Dying have been continuing sources of strength and solace for tens of millions of devoted readers worldwide. Based on a decade of working with dying children, this compassionate book offers the families of dead and dying children the help — and hope — they need to survive. In warm, simple language, Dr. Kübler-Ross speaks directly to the fears, doubts, anger, confusion, and anguish of parents confronting the terminal illness or sudden death of a child.
Review
Los Angeles Times Anyone who has experienced the loss of a child would do well to read
On Children and Death… Uplifting and inspirational.

The Washington Post An excellent resource.
About the Author
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, MD, [1926–2004] was a Swiss-born psychiatrist, humanitarian, and co-founder of the hospice movement around the world. She was also the author of the groundbreaking book
On Death and Dying, which first discussed The Five Stages of Grief. Elisabeth authored twenty-four books in thirty-six languages and brought comfort to millions of people coping with their own deaths or the death of a loved one. Her greatest professional legacy includes teaching the practice of humane care for the dying and the importance of sharing unconditional love. Her work continues by the efforts of hundreds of organizations around the world, including The Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation: .
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Chapter 1

Letter to Bereaved Parents

My, Dear Friends,

This is a letter to you who are in the process of losing a child. We have accompanied and followed so many moms and dads on this difficult journey, and this book is about the concerns they expressed and the lessons we learned.

As your child gets weaker and closer to death, you will wonder how much a child should know about the possible terminal outcome of the illness. I say “possible” because I have witnessed many miracles.

All children know (not consciously, but intuitively) about the outcome of their illness. All little ones are aware (not on an intellectual, but on a spiritual level) if they are close to death. They will ask occasionally, “Mom, am I going to die?” Or if they sense that you are unable to talk or even think about it, older children will write a poem or a page in their diary about it. They may confide in a friend or a special person who is not necessarily a member of the family, and thus more able to hear their often symbolic language. If they have a roommate in the hospital or a playmate in the hospital playroom, they may share their knowledge with another sick child. Few grownups ever know how many secrets are shared in such a way.

Every person, big or small, needs one person in which to confide. Children often choose the least expected person: a nurse’s aide, a cleaning woman, or at times a handicapped child who comes to visit them in a wheelchair. They have brief but deep talks together that adults would marvel at, and since they have gone through the windstorms of life at an early age, they know things that others of their age would not comprehend. Thus God who creates us all compensates the little ones as they fail physically. They become stronger in inner wisdom and intuitive knowledge.

They are aware of your pains and worries, your sleepless nights and concerns, and you should not hide them. Don’t go into their room with a false “cheerful” smile. Children cannot be fooled. Don’t lie to them that you just chopped some onions. How many onions are you going to cut? Tell them you are sad and sometimes feel so useless that you cannot help more. They will hold you in their little arms and feel good that they can help you by sharing comfort. Shared sorrow is much easier to bear than leaving them with feelings of guilt and fear that they are the cause of all