Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life

Product Description

A leading expert on human sexuality and author of the blog Sex and Psychology offers an unprecedented look at sexual fantasy based on the most comprehensive, scientific survey ever undertaken.

What do Americans really want when it comes to sex? And is it possible for us to get what we want? Justin J. Lehmiller, one of the country’s leading experts on human sexuality and author of the popular blog
Sex and Psychology, has made it his career’s ambition to answer these questions. He recently concluded the largest and most comprehensive scientific survey of Americans’ sexual fantasies ever undertaken, a monumental two-year study involving more than 4,000 Americans from all walks of life, answering questions of unusual scope.

Based on this study,
Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It helps readers to better understand their own sexual desires and how to attain them within their relationships, but also to appreciate why the desires of their partners may be so incredibly different.

If we only better understood the incredible diversity of human sexual desire and why this diversity exists in the first place, we would experience less distress, anxiety, and shame about our own sexual fantasies and better understand why our partners often have sexual proclivities that are so different from our own. Ultimately, this book will help readers to enhance their sex lives and to maintain more satisfying relationships and marriages in the future by breaking down barriers to discussing sexual fantasies and allowing them to become a part of readers’ sexual realities.

Review

“Not since Nancy Friday has anyone so comprehensively and confidently blown the lid off our deep and secret desires, and revealed the extent to which we humans are endlessly inventive, flexible sexual and social strategists.”―
Wednesday Martin, PhD, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller Primates of Park Avenue and Untrue

“A penetrating, erotic X-ray into the hidden recesses of our sexual psyches. Illuminating and incisive, Lehmiller lays bare the gray matter of great sex.”
―
Ian Kerner, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First

“Have a deep, dark sex fantasy that you’ve never shared with anyone? Turns out, you’re not alone. Most people are afraid their sex fantasies are abnormal, but Justin Lehmiller’s newest book reveals that understanding your erotic imaginings, and sharing them with your sex partner might be the best, healthiest thing you do all year.
Tell Me What You Want educates, titillates, thrills and guides us down a marvelous, sexy path that ends in acceptance of those naughty secrets in the basements of our minds.”
―
David J. Ley, PhD, author of The Myth of Sex Addiction

“Lehmiller’s smart, warm, sex-positive book breaks the toxic silence around our sexual fantasies. Reading it may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance.”―
Geoffrey Miller, author of The Mating Mind, Spent, and Mate

“Lehmiller’s groundbreaking book points to an alarming divide between the conversations we’re having about sex and the conversation we should be having about sex. It provides the nudge we need to change the conversation–and, in doing so, to live healthier, hotter lives.”―
Eli J. Finkel, Professor of Psychology, Northwestern University

”
Tell Me What You Want provides a scientifically grounded, non-judgmental assessment of where things stand in the sexual lives and fantasies of Americans. With an open-minded approach and fluid prose, this book is highly recommended for anyone looking for a road-map of where American sexuality is at the moment, and where many Americans would like to be going soon.”―
Christopher Ryan, PhD, co-author of the New York Times bestseller Sex at Dawn

“Sheds some light on the topic of fantasies, including who has them, how common they are and how they change over a person’s lifetime.”―